Mere Bachche, Mera Abhimaan

We all are seeing several thought provoking posts on the social media, of late. The highlight being: ‘Meri Beti, Mera Abhimaan’. Quite a commendable campaign. It is an extension to the ‘Beti Bachaao, Beti Padhaao’ movement started earlier, nationwide. I hugely applaud the intention of the mission.

We have known the discrimination against the girls and women in our society, dating back to as old as History can remember. How they have been considered the ‘weaker sex’ and ‘shown their rightful place’ in the society! How the education and awareness and rights and power and decision-making and sometimes even food rationing were in favour of the ‘men’ of the family! How mothers and sisters and daughters and daughters-in-law were subdued and the favour almost always tilted towards their male counterparts.

Women are anything but weak. There is a little joke that is doing the rounds: ‘A woman in labour pain understands exactly what a man goes through when he is suffering from cough and cold.’ Jokes apart, the fact remains that women are half the population, ideally, and they raise the other half. They can multi-task like no other. They are the best managers around. They have several very clearly defined agendas in their lives requiring their immediate attention sorted out yet merged beautifully. They do deserve a little more credit. 

Sadly, but surely, we have had some dark times in the past. The disgusting mentality  of forwarding the dynasty led to an obsession of having only sons as your offspring. Female foeticide was on a rise. People blindly followed the trend out of social pressure. I truly believe that the dowry system in our country is a major culprit. The main reason that daughters were seen as a liability was the apparent wastage on the girls’ education and fair upbringing. The underlying thought was that this money be rather spent on her dowry and wedding. The parents of the daughters aren’t the only ones to be blamed. The ‘culture’ of our society dictated that in order to avoid any social stigma, the daughter be ‘sarva guna sampann’ (an all-rounder) and loaded with a constant supply of the financial demands of the in-laws, irrespective of the fact whether her husband is deserving of all this or not!

This cruel act against nature of gender determination of the foetus and the ensuing crime tilted the balance of the sex ratio of our nation to a level of epidemic. We saw an alarming scarcity of girls in our society. There were enough sons to marry off but not enough daughters-in-law to be found. People started realising that a major faux pas had been committed. The Government also woke up to the crisis.

A lot of sense prevailed. Times have changed and how! The newer generations are done with this ridiculous bias. Girls are being welcomed in the family when they are born. They are given equal opportunities as the sons. We are seeing a high rate of education amongst girls these days. They are becoming more independent and self-sufficient. We see a lot of women at positions of power. May their tribe increase.

I don’t see this change as something to celebrate. This should have been the norm since the beginning. And even now, when we should be rejoicing this welcome change, I see another future crisis lurking ahead. What IS the need of any kind of bias? Can’t we just do away with the divide? To prove a point, do we have to have a PAYBACK? Aren’t we simply initiating another avalanche of discrimination? We see this as a victory, but honestly, it is just another series of dominoes in the making.

Is there really a need to shift the balance to the other extreme? I strongly believe that the new tagline of a Progressive India should be ‘मेरे बच्चे, मेरा अभिमान’. ‘My Children, My Pride’ truly proves the point in question. It shows that we have come a long way from differentiating amongst our own children. If your son wishes to take up music or cooking, so be it. Do not force your daughter to take up martial arts just for the sake of it. Treat them as individual entities who are not dictated by the norms set by the society. Just because the rules are accepted largely, doesn’t always make it right. 

Just let the children be. Let them grow at their own pace. Let them fall. Let them get up. Let them choose whether they prefer blue or pink. Let them decide whether they like to play with dolls or play out and get dirty. It has taken a long time to bring the children of yesteryears to their senses. Kindly let us not poison the future adults. The onus is on US. The sons of today have done nothing wrong to deserve step-motherly treatment. Raise your children such that they respect human beings. Don’t put a tag on it. ‘Men should respect women’??? I guess the reverse should be true, as well. Respect. That’s it.

The old gender bias has to go. No doubt about it. But there is no need to create new ones. That would be a refreshing change.

P.S.: Don’t forget to hug your sons, too.