Marriages, Pani-puri and Thunder, all are Made In Heaven.

We are going to complete 17 years of blissful togetherness, soon. Sounds long, right? To be honest, I feel like I was married only till my first munchkin came along. I got SO busy with my cupcake that I hardly had time for myself. Now when I look back, I feel that my dear husband would have felt totally neglected. Then, along came the other apple of my eye. I was busy trying to balance both the kiddos... I hardly had time to breathe. Oh, wait.... deep breathing was all that I would do...!

So, going back to the number of years of my marriage... we have been married for only three years. The other 14 years we have been trying to survive. Politely. Grudgingly. Heart-warmingly. Sometimes just waiting for the days to end out of sheer exhaustion from the diaper changes and the school rush and the evening classes and the endless bedtime songs and the bath-time struggles and you-love-your-firstborn-more and sometimes.... well, just with the dark circles from the sleepless nights of being the ‘extra’ person in your own bed!

No, no! Don’t get me wrong! It’s not like we didn’t enjoy our moments of love and harmony. Between the kids sleeping and office deadlines handled, we did have time for the occasional dining out or long drives or watching movies, etc. Sometimes it was home-delivered food with thrillers on TV and sometimes it was catching a few winks in different cities while hubby was travelling. But whenever he would be back, I would go into my much-needed rejuvenation hibernation. He has always been around whenever he could be. At other times, he has put his utmost faith in me.

While waiting from weekend to weekend, we didn’t realise how weeks turned into months and months turned into years. There I was holding the floating board of my little one who was scared of water, just like me, and now they both were offering to teach me swimming at our recent getaway. Hubby, of course, was ‘required’ to sit at the edge of the pool and click our ‘candid’ pictures. Well, we do have to shout out to the world that we are Happily Married. I know, I know... ‘Happily Married’ is an oxymoron. But this is my Anniversary Special Blog, so I would like to take the liberty here.

I do try not to think about the creepy entry of mid-life transition in our lives. So, instead of buying a flashy new sports car, we sold one of our old cars. I am trying to control hubby’s new hobby of running (aimlessly and not for errands, mind you) by not letting him register for full marathon. He has gone behind my back and registered for the 100K trail walk... he has to pay me some glittering stones for that. Thankfully, hubby is too proud of his salt-and-pepper look as he believes that he is paid for that only in his career! He fights with the kids, not to win but to not lose.... thank God for me and my patience.

The focus of marriage shifts from Me to Us to Them and back to Us! The husband and the wife come from different backgrounds and are expected to be on the same page for everything. We have adopted a way to deal with this. We give each other space and time. We let the other one lead. We discuss rather than dump our opinions on each other. So basically, either we have to convince our better half or stick to the bitter half like an octopus on the face.

I chose this cover photo of hubs feeding me pani-puri with his own hands for my marriage anniversary blog because this is how I feel about it. A marriage is like pani-puri. Allow me to explain:

Ø  Pani-puri, which is known by different names, viz., pani-puri, puchka, golgappa or my native gupchup, still brings you tears... albeit, tears of joy!

Ø  A marriage could be love, arranged, love after marriage, marriage before love, love getting arranged, arranged being loved... it still remains a gamble.

·    A pani-puri comes in different flavours and with different fillings. Sinfully delicious, nonetheless.

·    A marriage runs on similar taste trails... it is sweet and spicy and savoury and tangy and all things wonderful. The fillings(read: feelings) could get bitter sometimes but it has the magical power to draw you back to it.

v The pani-puri is pure dil-maange-more item.

v Marriage is, well... you gotta try it before you can decide and then there’s no going back. So, yeah... you end up staying there.

Marriage is like finding that one special person whom you can annoy for the rest of your life. You also need to blame somebody for anything and everything that goes wrong because I personally feel that God and Modi have been overused! My only advice would be that before marrying someone, give them a computer with a terribly slow internet connection to see who they really are.

For all the husbands out there... do you know those magical words that never fail to end an argument? Oh, no no! It is NOT ‘I Love You’. Today, I give you the coveted list. Take your pick according to the crime committed.

a. ‘I Am Sorry.’

b. ‘You’ve lost weight.’

c. ‘You’re looking pretty.’

d. ‘I missed you.’

e. ‘Go, party with your girlfriends tonight.’

f. ‘Allow me to feed the kids today.’

g. ‘I have a wonderful bedtime story for the brat, tonight.’

h. ‘Let me cook today.’

i. ‘Let’s go shopping.’

j. ‘I have never eaten more delicious food in my entire life.’

And the list goes on. But you get the drift, eh?

Weddings can be perfect, but not Marriages. It is a kaleidoscope of all possible human emotions and some alien ones, too. Behind every successful man is a surprised wife. Similarly, behind every angry wife is an innocent-looking man who has no idea as to what he did wrong!

You may have married your spouse for their looks but not the ones which you are getting, of late. Because even though Marriages are made in Heaven, a lot of the nitty-gritty needs to be figured out here, on the Earth.

Or, as they say in the culinary language: 'Namak: Swadanusar' (Salt: to taste) to make your desired pani-puri!

-Namrata Rathi Sarda.