The F word

I know. I shouldn’t be using the F word! Bad influence. This is what we tell our children. I know I am entering a dangerous territory. But I desperately think that it is the need of the hour. It is high time we acknowledge this widely used phrase. If you are done raising your eyebrows and judging me, let me clarify that I am talking about... hold your breath.... The Facebook. Ohhh! What were you thinking??!!

Remember the old village junction at the even older Peepal Tree altar, where people would gather and exchange pleasantries? They would hold ‘panchayats’ there. They would pass judgments there. They would raise issues there. Or just celebrate life. Getting the drift, eh? Facebook is the modern day Peepal Tree junction, so to speak. It is the modern way to stay connected with people, may it be with family or friends or acquaintances or sometimes even strangers, all over the globe, while staying in the comforts of your home, real time.

Right from watching a movie at an upscale theatre to visiting some exotic location, every place ‘needs’ to be checked-in. Enjoying a delicious meal at a 5-star hotel or just a warm mug of coffee at the neighbourhood cafe or the humble roadside pani-puri finds its rightful place of pride in your album. From celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and festivals to morning walks and marathons are a must-have display on your wall. Airport mentions makes one looks cool as having a very busy life. Yours and your children's achievements need to be shouted out from the rooftops. How else will the world know what a cool life you are living?!

It poses a modern day dilemma for many. How much is enough? That is a personal judgment call, I would say. Some people seem comfortable sharing almost everything they do, online. If you have a problem with that, well, it is your problem. You can always log off. Nobody is forcing you to peep into other people’s lives.

With technological advances, you can’t stay cooped up in your cozy ignorant corner. I would rather stay abreast with the modern technology before my children catch up. There's too much pressure on today’s parents! A few people have found me 'guilty’ of being very active on social media. Not that it is any of their business, but I would still want to know as to how come they are aware of it unless they are themselves online, ALL the time?! Funny.

Even though the name is Facebook, you don’t have to take it at its Face Value. Here are some dos and don’ts that can spare us all from some major discomfort.

1. Do not post your personal problems online. Take a counsellor’s help instead of garnering attention. The poor soul has earned his Psychology degree. Give him a chance to repay his education loan, at least.

2. Do not 'like' your own photos or posts. It is an online version of narcissism. Everybody knows that you have posted them becuase you liked them, in the first place. Simply put, we do not praise our own selves. That’s called bragging. What job will the others have, then?

3. No need to get nasty in posts where you have no business being in the first place. Perfect examples are inter religious debates or starting a virtual Indo-Pak War or senseless fights over which one is a better actor or player, with random strangers, online. Consult a psychiatrist if you can’t control your urge.

4. Refrain from reacting at all if you can’t be polite. This holds true for real life, too; in case you missed this lesson while growing up. Also, you don’t have to respond to every nasty comment that is posted on your wall. Worst case: post a smiley. It will kill them!

5. As in emails, do not use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS while posting on Facebook. It is equivalent to shouting out loud, in real life... if you know what I mean.

6. No medico is waiting for a certain number of likes and shares to perform that surgery on some poor fellow in some ‘corner’ of the world. Please get back to real jobs!

7. I don’t think that God has an online department. So your ‘amens’ or 'If you don't share this on your wall instantly, you will die within a week.' posts will not impact your karma. Actually doing some good deed, offline, might work wonders for you, rather.

8. Do not post your medical problems online. Consult a doctor. Better to pay the medical bill rather than treat your own self for tuberculosis when you have simple dry cough at the ‘suggestion’ of your health group members.

9. Not all kitchen hacks and DIY tips that scroll on your screen are genuine. Use common sense and caution, in that order, to decide for yourself.

10. The lives of celebrities are glamorous, no doubt. But leave them in peace and stop giving them a piece of your own minds or judging them. There is a lot of hard work that goes behind those 'picture-perfect' lives. Get inspired, rather. Also, threatening someone online to chop off the actor's head for some role he or she portrayed in some movie is not cool, dude! Get a life.

11. Try to control your enthusiasm if you are going on a holiday and refrain from declaring it to the world, beforehand. Think about it: even the crooks are getting techno-savvy. When you post about your travel plans with airport or hotel check-ins, it translates to: 'Nobody is at home for the next one week. We are too far to return in case of a break-in. Please feel free to help yourself around our house.' You might as well tell them where you keep the spare keys! Rather, you can make the world jealous after returning from the foreign locale with the amazing pictures that you posed for in front of that world famous monument. Sounds about right?

12. We need to get off Facebook more often and wish people on their special days, personally, if possible. Like a husband wishing his wife for her birthday online... but, she is right there, next to you! Celebrate offline and then post pictures, if you insist!

13. It's scary to discover that we are now getting family updates through social media because both the parents and children are more active online. The earth won't stop spinning if you decide on some screen-free family time, daily.

14. My husband has been stubbornly refusing to accept my mother's friend request on Facebook. He finds my mother's over-enthusiasm to be quite obvious. In her defence, my mother has recently joined the Facebook bandwagon. And so, obviously, she is utterly delighted to see our age-old pictures in our old photo albums online. And the simple woman thinks it is her duty to like and react to each and every post of her children and children-in law. Well, I can't take sides, here. Just waiting for my mother to get exhausted by the novelty, soon. Fingers crossed.

Now, now! Don't get discouraged. Some Facebook encounters are fruitful, too.

1. I am very grateful to Facebook to have made it possible for us to reunite with our long-lost  school and college friends.

2. A large number of similar-minded people are able to get together to stay motivated. Be it the love for cooking or music or art or fitness or dance or parenting or teaching or wildlife enthusiaists and other countless hobbies, there are enough forums for all.

3. We can raise awareness about domestic and social issues that require our attention.

4. It gives you a breather amongst all the worldly stress with the funny memes and jokes and videos.

5. It has become easier for people to voice their opinions on contemporary issues.

As I said earlier, log off if you think it is getting too much for you to handle.

Last, but not the least, Facebook posts can give you the feel-good factor, if you are truly looking for it. You can either choose to be jealous or choose to be inspired.

I get motivated by that friend's post who strives to stay fit. I get inspired by that friend's post who enjoys cooking and baking for her family and for her passion and tries to dish out something new everytime. I am in awe of that friend whose posts show how he or she has been following her passion for yoga and dancing. I admire that friend's post for her love for animals. I respect that friend's post who respects her own talent and gives us a visual treat everytime she creates her masterpiece on canvas. I adore that friend who keeps tagging us in memes and posts for valid reasons or just like that, sometimes. I look forward to the video posts of that friend who is an immensely talented artist. I await the audio posts of that budding singer friend. I look forward to the posts of a few friends who just spread smiles and joys through their views.

Where else can I get all my friends on a single platform?

F-word to my rescue!