Grow Up

Grow up, I told my offspring….

But I am just a child, Mom!

You grow up… as you should have!

Well, this made more sense….

But I am just a mom, Child!

I have just been a mom!

When did I stop growing up?

Well, I was busy.

I have held you tight when you were laughing,

I have shed tears when you were hurt.

I have stayed awake when you fell sick,

I have celebrated when you won that spell-bee!

I was growing up with you, albeit as a Mom…

I have grown up as a Mom, yeah!

I know, now, that the world is not as bad a place for you.

You have to embrace it; with your eyes, both, shut and open.

I will always have your back, you know that.

But I will have to let you go while holding on to you,

I have to set you free, they say.

But I am still just a Mom!

I still yearn for your hugs… the ones which came out of nowhere.

I miss your beaming smile… the ones which you gave me from inside your school gate.

I would give an arm and a leg for those late night catch-up stories of your day.

I would give up my whole world for being child-like with you again.

Oh wait, but you have grown up now!

You have your vibes and your mind,

Thoughtfully so.

You have your opinions and your voice,

Rightfully so.

You have your virtues and your flaws,

Understandably so.

And I couldn’t be more proud of you, as your Mom.

I am, well, still just a Mom!

My dear child, and I wouldn’t wanna grow up any more…

Coz I am holding on to the treasure.

The treasure of your dolls and your first words,

Your broken tooth and that first lock of your hair,

That Lego block that hurt my foot in the dark,

That note from your bff and your birthday card for me,

That ‘I am sorry’ poem for Daddy.

Why would I want to grow up?

Oh, wait.

That homeless pile of clothes,

Those books strewn all over the floor,

That half-eaten burger.

Is that the plate from last week?

Grow uppp, I screamed.

No, you can’t bunk your school tomorrow,

Stop eating the ice.

Is that your shoe outside the door?

Why are you finishing your project at 2am?

When will you grow up?

As for me,

I am happy being just a Mom.

Admiring you. From a distance.

Probably screaming on the inside while seeing you stumble,

And beaming with pride while seeing you stand up again.

Wouldn’t trade these memories for anything in this world.

You shall remain in my heart for as long as I am your Mom.

• Namrata Rathi Sarda. (Drama Queen:Reloaded)